He called

Two days ago as I was with a police officer, filling the missing person report, I received a call and it was him.

He called just in time cause the police officer confirmed that there was an arrest warrant for him and that if I fill a missing person report they gonna look for him and if they find him they will bring him to jail.

She could confirm that he was not in detention.

I told her I would like to wait, at least one more day before they start looking for him. I don't want to be the reason he goes to jail but imagining is body unidentified at the morgue for a week without anyone caring about his disappearance is just not bearable.

But he called and he was cocaine. How do I know ? He was paranoï as fuck. I hesitated before telling him I was with the police cause I didn't want him to be mad at me. That hesitation made him believe that I was with another man. I had to pass the phone to the officer who had to prove to him she was indeed a police, he ask for her matricule number, question the veracity of her name, even laugh at her name. It was very embarrassing but I was happy to hear from him.

I hate went he is in that state. Hallucination leading to paranoïa and it is always about me cheating on him.

Maybe that is why he did not call before. Maybe he thought I moved on with my life and did not care about him anymore. He told me that my number was a long distant. It may be thru, after a couple of month away my line may be consider long distance by the phone company. He told me that trying to dial my phone number on a public phone wasted all is money.

I can believe he could not find a phone in a week downtown. I can't judge cause, as a girl it is thru that it is a little more easy to get help but still I do think that he didn't tried that much.

He was high. They were right and I'm desperate.

Should I leave him and stop worrying for him once and for good : YES!

Am I gonna do it : unfortunately no, I don't know what is wrong with me but I just can't give up on him.

He wasn't piss I called the police. He understood that I was very worried. I think he was just pleased that the police story was right and that I wasn't with another man but what does he expect. You can't leave your GF that long without news. He knew is behavior was bad and that I may have giving up on him but nah. He should know now I'm not clever enough for that.

Peace guys !

Oh and he found a room for rent in a apartment and I may join him there or I may not. Not sure yet. It is not very inviting considering he doesn't border to call too much. Well since the first call he's been calling a little bit more but still I don't feel like he cares about him as much as I do for him. It's a fact that he doesn't have to worry about me cause I know how to handle myself but he should still want to hear my voice just for the love of it.